Short People Got
Every Reason to Live
in The West Virginia Scholars Anthology 1986-1987.
by Roxanna Glass
Short people of America unite! If we all do, we might
collectively be as tall as two TALL people.
There are actually quite a few good things about being short. For
example, short people don't have to bend over to get through low
doors or low ceilings. In the cave where the taller people were
getting back cramps, I could walk normally, only occasionally
bending my head.
Short people can find better and more places to hide when playing
"Hide and Seek" or "Capture the Flag." Some of us can even fit into
washing machines or dryers.
We, as short people, have many advantages in sports. With a smaller
strike zone, it is harder to strike us out. Because we are short, it
is difficult to tackle us, and we can run between the players' legs
in basketball. Besides that, in basketball, most of the players tend
to ignore short people, and then forget that we even exist, so while
they are so stuck on themselves, we can run up to the basket and
wait for an easy lay-up.
When making people pyramids, short people get to be on the top where
we belong. This is good, so we won't get squashed, but can be bad if
one is scared of heights.
When short people fall down, it doesn't hurt us as much as it would
a tall person because we don't have as far to fall. We also don't
have to worry about our heads running into an electric wire when we
walk down the street, or getting caught in a cloud.
Washing hair in the shower is easy, and we can totally stretch
ourselves out in the bathtub. We can also stretch our legs in small
places such as auditoriums and in the back seat of a car.
Covers fit us, and our feet don't hang over the edge of the bed.
Huddling yourself to keep warm is easier because there is less to
huddle. Some of us are even accused of being cuddly just because of
Short people don't have to worry about not finding dresses that are
long enough (though we may have to hem them two feet!), and when the
styles get longer, we get the taller people's hand-me-downs.
We also don't have to worry about fitting under someone else's
umbrella. Walks in the woods are easier because we don't have to
move as many branches out of the way. We also don't have to see the
dirt on top of the refrigerator and kitchen cabinets.
Short people that have energy have great amounts of it, probably to
make up for their physical deprivation. They are better skaters and
skiiers because they have a lower center of gravity. They are better
gymnasts (just look at Mary Lou!) and dancers, and overall they stay
in pretty good shape because they have to walk faster and take
bigger steps to keep up with the rest of society.
Some BIG advantages of being short are that we short girls never
have to worry about finding a guy taller than we are. We can get
into movies and other places on the "under 12" rate. And most
importantly, we can sleep in class because the teachers could never
see our heads anyway.
Shortness can also be a scape goat. It is an easy excuse for things
like sports, and it is a special tool to get attention. Most people
don't expect as much out of short people, so when we do anything
spectacular, it is really noticed.
All in all, short people are special people, even if they do have to
hug someone at the belly button.